Tough Stuff session 4
Bargaining
Bargaining is like negotiating with the past, but sadly what’s done is done!
Defending ourselves from our thoughts and feelings can help us for a while but can become unhealthy if we don’t develop better tools.
“The bargaining stage of grief can feel like despair and anxiety rolled into one. Your mind is trying to wrestle with the truth, learning to let go of one reality and move toward another. This stage is defined by your struggle to regain a sense of control as you grieve.”
Tool: Circles of Control
“Circles of control are about taking control of the things you can, but resigning yourself to the fact that there are somethings you cannot control and so to remain healthy your emotional energy should be better focussed on the things you can control.”
This activity can be performed anytime and especially will be helpful if you are experiencing anxiety/despair or are unable to see clearly what is going on in your mind. Once you have drawn your two circle here are some questions to ponder. The answers might be good to write or draw in your journal, they might help you realise where it is valuable to bargain and where is isn't.
Key Questions to help reduce our anxiety by expanding our Circle of Influence:
Key Questions to help reduce our anxiety by expanding our Circle of Influence:
- What can I do to influence the situation, even in a small way?
- What can I do to increase my control or influence over that situation?
- What have I done in the past that might help?
- How can I ask others to support me?
