Tough Stuff session 2
DENIAL
Denial is like looking in the mirror and hoping you see someone else looking back.
Defending ourselves from our thoughts and feelings can help us for a while but can become unhealthy if we don’t develop better tools.
Slow Club
Slow Club is about taking control and being intentional in how you allow your feelings to affect you. The more you practise controlling them, the more you will be in control. Slow Club is about slowing down enough to allow people, fun and even feelings back into your world, but at your own pace.
Tool: Slow Club
Step 1. Identify something or someone that helps you to have space. i.e youth group, friends, family, skateboarding, photography, computer gaming, music.
Step 2 - Set aside a time each week to find space
Step 3 - In that space have fun, or rest, or simple allow yourself to relax
Step 4 - Once you have begun to inhabit this space, blow some bubbles and as you watch them float away consider your loss and ask yourself how you are feeling. If you can’t process your grief at this moment that is ok but if you are ready to talk or journal your thoughts, this is a good time to start.
Step 2 - Set aside a time each week to find space
Step 3 - In that space have fun, or rest, or simple allow yourself to relax
Step 4 - Once you have begun to inhabit this space, blow some bubbles and as you watch them float away consider your loss and ask yourself how you are feeling. If you can’t process your grief at this moment that is ok but if you are ready to talk or journal your thoughts, this is a good time to start.
Taking a temporary breather from grief to do something you would have done before is helpful: watch a movie, have a distracting conversation with a friend, or just daydream for a while. It's healthy to do this for a while, but long-term trying to avoid it altogether can have harmful consequences. As a general rule, the only way out of grief is through it. If the emotions are there, it’s important not to run from them. But we shouldn’t feel we have to face them all at once, either. Grieving appropriately means allowing ample time to remember and feel the loss as well as embracing occasional opportunities to distract ourselves and regroup.